- 心事 (sorry for my improper language in this entry)

rules about staying sane (not actually but sane enough to be treated as normal insane you know) in this motherfuckinunfairsadcruel world

all of those rules have something to do with our mother nature. the environmental one.

1. it's okay to dwell in sadness, in the past, in your food, etc. but don't dwell too deep. it's like sinking in the ocean. nobody could find you if you dwell in the depth where those lampfishes live. or you don't want to be found (don't tell me lies, as long as you live and are hurt, you want to be found, don't tell fucking lies.). AND omg. see. all those mental problems are reflected by the nature. ok. going on. if you dwell in that deep level of "mental shit ocean", there is a possibility of 1% that someone could find you. it's probably a lampfish that wants to eat you up. (metaphor here: lampfish gives you hope with the light but actually wants to eat you up. lampfish=EVUUUUL) or it might be a human.that wants to explore the deep ocean. that human = 1% = someone that might save you, even in the deep dark shit ocean. yay. sooo..
dwell in the sea-level where light is shining from above and people could actually see you. done. don't care if you want help or not.

2. be the sailor of your mentality. imagine the ocean is your mentality, your sub-consiousness, your shit-ass-inner-surpressed-feelings, your first-world-problems, etc. annnd the "you" (sigmund FREUUUD) thinks you cannot manage this ocean of shit, just
RELAX. and SWIM. just keep swimming! (dory <3)
as long as you can sail your own ocean, it's enough. you don't have to fix every broken thing inside you. because your lifespan isn't worth doing that. just keep living, keep swimming, know your wounds but also know the warmth that comes from above. even if your boat aka your hope sinks, you can still swim. find another boat. and sail. and swim. do that, captain. ayyy ayy!

3. erm..

that's all for now. i'm writing in a different style here buuuut yeah. i also have this complex consiousness-structure in me like every one else. i'm giving advice here in a honest way.
oh. and another suggestion: write your feelings down somewhere. not for someone to stalk you and make fun of you or revealing too much of you but to shit out some negative feelings. and it's not even too revealing. nobody knows what the actual problem is. you are just a reflector of your feelings or you might be creative and make poems. just say it. say the feeling. not necessarily your problem.

just sail. stay sane while being insane. it's possible.