- 贏家

i've been thinking lot about what if's.. 

what if i didn't realize that i was in love? 

what if i never told him? 

what if i never let this wall inside me break? 

maybe we could have stayed good friends. 

maybe it wouldn't be so awkward right now. 

maybe we could have talked normally to each other.

but..

if i didn't

i wouldn't have experienced such a great summer

i wouldn't have been true to myself

and the most cruel thing - i would have regretted it my whole life. 

yes regret.

that's the thing i think a human should never have. 

maybe i'm heartbroken right now.

maybe i've been sad.

maybe i've cried sometimes because of that person.

but actually it felt really good to let my heart breathe.

let the rain fall on my heart. let my heart bleed. 

all of these were better than having my heart kept in a cage.

i mean

i didn't lose anything

i didn't lose THE chance.

i didn't lose the opportunity to love.

and a lover is never the loser despite being heartbroken, because a lover has the freedom to love.

i was free and that definitely already made me the winner. 

yes i won.